Relative-ly Speaking Read online

  DEDICATION

  Unless you were raised by June and Ward Cleaver, I believe all families are dysfunctional to an extent. Some think dysfunctional families are broken. Unless they are abusive in some ungodly way, I totally disagree. Take it from me…never try to fix what isn't broken.

  Dysfunctionality (not a real word, but apropos!) makes life interesting and leads to strong character building and the ability to handle most of what life has to throw at you.

  I, for one, love my family passionately, but to be honest, after growing up with them, and after raising a family of my own, I have to admit that dysfunctionality is more the norm than an anomaly. As a result, I have developed some outstanding survival and coping skills, not to mention having lived a very interesting and colorful life full of love, acceptance and support.

  The best part of growing up in the midst of dysfunctionality is that life is never boring…and that is a wonderful thing!

  I dedicate this book to all the dysfunctional families in the world...especially mine. Gotta love 'em!

  ALSO WRITTEN BY KAREN D. BADGER AND

  AVAILABLE FROM BADGER BLISS BOOKS:

  ON A WING AND A PRAYER

  YESTERDAY ONCE MORE

  IN A FAMILY WAY

  UNCHAINED MEMORIES

  HAPPY CAMPERS

  THE BLUE FEATHER

  COLLECTIVE IDENTITY

  ALL MY TOMORROWS

  SWEET ANGEL

  www.badgerblissbooks.com

  This is a work of fiction. All characters, locales and events are either

  products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously.

  RELATIVE-LY SPEAKING - BOOK VI OF THE COMMITMENT SERIES

  Copyright © 2016 by Karen D. Badger

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any

  manner whatsoever without written permission from the publisher,

  save for brief quotations used in critical articles or reviews.

  Cover design by Karen D. Badger

  A Badger Bliss Book

  Published by Badger Bliss Books

  Georgia, VT 05468

  www.badgerblissbooks.com

  ISBN 13: 978-1508791331

  ISBN 13: 1508791333

  First Edition, March, 2016

  Printed in the United States of America and in the United Kingdom

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

  As usual, my beta readers provide an invaluable service. They find my mistakes, express their opinions about my characters and plot, and help me to improve my skills as a writer. I'd like to express my extreme gratitude to my wife, Bliss, my mom, Ellie Atherton and my very good friend, Carol Poynor, for your hard work and for being forthright and honest in your opinions and feedback. You guys rock!

  I also wish to thank my family and friends for their unwavering support. The family dynamics on display in this book reflect the love and support I have received from my family over the years. I love every one of you! You give me the confidence to move forward with my stories.

  The Commitment Series is about family… about how families come in many varieties… and about how family is not limited by blood relations. Thank you all for being a part of mine.

  Table Of Contents

  Part I – You Can Choose Your Friends, But...

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Part II – For Better Or For Worse

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Epilogue

  About Karen D. Badger

  Other Works by Karen D. Badger

  Coming Soon from Badger Bliss Books

  Preview from 1140 Rue Royale

  Part I

  You Can Choose Your Friends, But…

  CHAPTER 1

  Sol rose over the rooftops, casting a bright orange glow over everything in his domain. Slivers of light entered every crevice, saturating, intruding, invading even the smallest slits, defeating the barriers intended to keep them out.

  Soldiers of light attacked, conquering in parallel formation as they made their way through the Venetian blinds, landing on the occupants of the battleground. As the formation moved north, it became obvious that the enemy was defenseless, unable to escape the onslaught as the invading forces made their way across the hills and valleys created by the entwined bodies on the bed. Finally, victory was declared as the army of light reached its destination and planted its banner firmly in the face of the enemy.

  "Billie," Cat said, nudging her sleeping wife.

  "Hmmm," Billie murmured as she pulled Cat closer, wrapping her arms around her.

  "Billie," Cat said again.

  "Whaaaat?" Billie was annoyed at being awakened so early on a Saturday morning.

  "Honey, please close the blinds, the sun is in my face. I can't sleep," Cat asked.

  "Just roll over," Billie suggested, not wanting to get out of the warm comfortable bed.

  "Please, love?" Cat asked sweetly.

  Billie opened one eye and saw Cat looking at her with puppy dog eyes. Damn, I hate it when she does that!

  "Oh, all right." She got out of bed and closed the blinds, effectively casting out the slivers of light that had invaded their bed. She then climbed back into bed, and gathered Cat into her arms once more.

  Cat kissed Billie on the cheek then snuggled into her neck. "Thank you, sweetheart," She said.

  Soon, they were sleeping once more, bodies wrapped around each other like braided rope.

  ***

  Brrrring...Brrrring...Brrrring.

  Cat groped for the phone. "Hello?" she said groggily. "Mom? Mom, do you know what time it is?" Cat asked irritably.

  "Yes dear, it's ten a.m. You aren't still in bed are you?" Ida asked.

  Cat shot up as if she had been goosed. "Ten a.m.? Oh, my God! Are you serious?" Cat looked at the digital clock on the nightstand to confirm what her mother had said. Sure enough, it read three minutes past ten.

  Cat ran her hand through her hair and took a quick inventory of the bedroom. No Billie. Damn it Billie, why did you let me sleep so long? The last thing she remembered was nudging Billie awake to close the blinds.

  "Caitlain, I just received a call from your sister," Ida said.

  "Which one, Mom?" Cat asked, annoyed that her mother automatically thought she would know.

  "Amy," Ida replied.

  "And...," Cat asked.

  "Well, she suggested that it was time for a family reunion," Ida explained.

  "Funny you should say that, Mom. Before Laurel went back home after Sky's illness, Billie and I mentioned organizing one so she could meet the rest of the family."

  "You know, sweetheart, finding Laurel closed a lot of holes in our family trees. I mean, she's my sister, and Billie's mother and Grandma Alex's daughter. It would be nice to introduce her to the rest of the family."

  Cat threw herself back down onto the pillows. "You're right, Mom. So, whose going to organize this thing?" she asked, dreading the answer.

  "Well, dear, since Laurel is your mother-in-law, and Billie's mother, we thought that you and Billie should do it," Ida reasoned.

  Cat reached over for
Billie's pillow and covered her face with it, swearing up a storm into its softness while holding it tightly to her face so her mother wouldn't hear the cursing.

  "Caitlain? Caitlain, are you there?" Cat could hear her mother call out through the receiver.

  Cat was counting to ten in her mind. Eight...nine...ten. Calm down, Cat, calm down. This is your mother you're talking to.

  "I'm here, Mom," she said after taking a deep breath to compose herself.

  "Well, dear, what do you think?"

  "I think, Mom, that I need to discuss this with Billie first," Cat said, hopefully buying herself some time.

  "Okay, dear. Just give me a call when you've decided where and when we'll have it, all right?" Ida said.

  "Mom," Cat began.

  "I'll call Amy, Bridget and Drew and tell them to expect a call from you," Ida continued talking as if Cat had not spoken.

  "Mom," Cat said again.

  "This will be so much fun, dear. And you know Grams and Grandma Jo are getting on in years. It may be the last reunion they'll have with the entire family," Ida finished.

  That did it for Cat.

  Damn! she exclaimed to herself. "All right, Mom. I'll call you when I've worked out the details with Billie," she heard herself saying.

  "Okay, honey. I'll talk to you later then. Kiss Billie and the babies for me. Bye, bye."

  "Bye, Mom." Cat dropped the phone onto her lap and reached for Billie's pillow once more.

  Exhausted after screaming into Billie's pillow for ten minutes…not to mention oxygen starved, Cat dropped the pillow into her lap and rested her head against the headboard.

  Why am I such an easy target when it comes to my mother? she asked herself. My backbone just flies out the window where she's concerned!

  Cat inhaled deeply then closed her eyes and personally vowed not to exert such control over her own children. She opened her eyes and glanced at the picture of the kids on her beside table. Every day I'm amazed at the direction my life has gone, she thought.

  Almost nine years ago, it was just her and Tara…until that fateful day she walked into Billie's aerobics class and lost her heart forever. Over the course of the next few months, Billie and Cat fell in love. It wasn't until several months after they met that Cat learned Billie had a son…a son who was in the hospital in a coma after being hit by a car whose driver passed his school bus, despite the flashing red lights, and hit him as he was crossing the road.

  So much had happened to them since they met. Cat's father, a neurosurgeon, was able to bring Seth back to them and they lived happily together as a family of four until that fateful day when Billie's ex-husband raped Cat while Billie was at work.

  Their youngest child, Skylar was the product of that unholy act…an act that later became a blessing in disguise when Seth's paternal connection with her was her only salvation after she nearly died of leukemia two years earlier.

  Cat had looked back on that time and chided herself for the way she treated Billie during Skylar's illness. She was jealous of the special relationship Billie had with their younger daughter, and she essentially pulled rank on Billie as Skylar's only biological parent when the child preferred attention from her beloved Mommy over her. She was truly grateful her relationship with Billie survived that trauma although she would not have blamed Billie for leaving after the way she treated her.

  Cat smiled. When it came down to it, their love had endured every obstacle thrown in their path—including a gunshot wound to the head Billie suffered at the hands of her ex-husband, followed by a bout with amnesia, during which she had no memory of her life with Cat. Cat feared their lives would never be the same without a history to fall back on, but soon, Billie's memories returned and life became normal again.

  I thank God every day for our network of friends and family, Cat thought. I don't know what we would have done without them over the years. Mom, Dad, Jen and Fred. We are truly blessed.

  Cat frowned. I wish I wasn't such a spineless jellyfish around my mother. Now we're in charge of organizing a freakin’ family reunion!

  "Ah!" Cat exclaimed as she threw the covers back and climbed out of bed. She threw on a T-shirt and boxer shorts before going in search of her wife.

  "Billie!" she yelled as she charged through the house. "Billie, where are you?" she called as she entered the kitchen.

  "Chill out, Cat," Billie said, coming in from the back yard. "What's got your undies in such a wad this morning?" she asked teasingly.

  "Don't go there, Billie, I'm in no mood for it," Cat said irritably, her hands on her hips.

  "PMS-ing, are we?" Billie quipped.

  Cat picked up a dish towel and threw it at Billie.

  Billie caught the towel and grinned. "You can do better than that," she said as she lurched forward and grabbed Cat around the waist.

  Cat tried to scramble out of Billie's grasp, but Billie held fast, nuzzling into Cat's neck and placing light kisses along her collarbone. Cat quickly settled down and pressed herself into Billie.

  "Billie, why can't I stay mad when I'm around you?" she asked breathlessly.

  "Because you can't resist my charm," Billie answered, nipping lightly on her neck.

  "Hmmm, that feels good," Cat said as she arched closer to Billie. "I'd disagree, but I'm in no position to argue at the moment."

  Billie stood to her full height and looked down Cat. "Wanna tell me what's got you so fired up this morning?" she asked.

  "Why did you let me sleep so long?" Cat asked.

  "Because, my love," Billie said. "You were tired. After last night's marathon lovemaking session, I'm surprised you're up as early as you are!"

  Cat smiled, remembering how sex crazed they had both been the night before. They just couldn't get enough of each other. They had made love so many times she actually lost count.

  "Actually, I still would be sleeping if it wasn't for my mother," Cat said.

  Billie frowned. "Your mother?"

  "Yeah, she called a few minutes ago. By the way, where were you? I'm surprised you didn't answer the phone."

  "In the back yard with the kids. I got them started putting a fresh coat of paint on the tree house," Billie answered. "So, what did Mom have to say?" she asked.

  "Billie, she did it to me again," Cat whined. "Damn it, why am I so weak around her?"

  Billie raised her eyebrows, "What did she talk you into this time?" she asked.

  "Us, love...us," Cat said.

  "Us?" Billie asked.

  "Oh, yeah. You and I are officially in charge of organizing a family reunion," Cat moaned.

  Billie's head snapped up. "Cool!" she said.

  "Cool? Cool?" Cat said, astonished at Billie's casual attitude. "Billie, do you have any idea how difficult this will be?" Cat asked.

  "Cat, we're talking about your family here, how hard can it be?" Billie asked.

  "Billie, we're talking about our families. Are you forgetting that your mother is my mother's stepsister? We're talking about you and me, our kids, Mom and Dad, Amy and Joe and their kids, Bridget and Kevin and their kids, Drew, Grandma Alex, Grandma Jo, Laurel, Dylan and Jim...you know—your homophobic stepfather?" Cat reminded her wife.

  "Shit!" Billie said, looking down into Cat's face.

  "Shit, indeed, my love. Shit indeed."

  ***

  Cat and Billie sat at the kitchen table, fresh coffee and cheesecake in front of them. Cat scanned through her list as she tapped her pencil on the table.

  "As far as I can tell, there will be about twenty-two people," Cat said. "Where are we going to sleep them all?"

  "Well, we have a couple of choices, Cat. They can rent motel rooms for the week, or bring camping gear and set it up in the yard," Billie suggested.

  "Camping gear? Billie, how can you even suggest camping after that horrible experience we had at Happy Trails?" Cat asked, seeing Billie visibly cringe at the mention of their disastrous camping trip with Fred and Jen.

  "Maybe you're right. Sorry I mention
ed it," Billie said, shuddering at the memory. "Well, there's always the motel," she added.

  "That could get a little expensive," Cat observed.

  "Well, I'm out of ideas, then," Billie crossed her arms on the table in front of her rested her chin on them.

  Cat stood up and started pacing, tapping the end of her pencil on her chin as she walked. "What we need," she said, "is a house big enough for all of us."

  Cat suddenly stopped and looked at Billie at the same exact moment Billie's head snapped up.

  "SpireClyffe Acres!" they exclaimed together.

  ***

  "Hi, Grams, this is Cat."

  "Caitlain, darlin', it's so nice to hear from you. How y'all doin'?" Alex asked excitedly. "How's the baby?" she added.

  "We're all fine, Grams. Skylar is doing great. She's on a very low maintenance dose of chemo, and seems to be tolerating it very well. Her hair has grown back in—curly this time! It really is very cute. So far, there's no sign of the leukemia returning. Dr. Berry is confident that we've beat it. So how are you and Grandma Jo?" Cat asked.

  "Well, you know how it is. Josie is just as ornery as ever. I swear, Caitlain, that woman is gonna send me to an early grave. Just last week, she challenged the stable hands to a drinkin' contest, and they ended up tree climbin' of all things. It's a wonder she didn't fall and break that fool neck of hers," Alex exclaimed.

  Cat chuckled at the thought of her rebellious septuagenarian grandmother climbing a tree.

  "I do declare, sometimes I wonder why I stay with that woman!" Alex added.

  "You stay with her because you love her, Grams," Cat stated matter-of-factly.